This is a smallish, open park of mostly grass with only a few trees and a few ponds. There is also a boardwalk by the river, but it was closed when I went. Something gigantic has carved great paths through the grass, but there was no sign of it when I was there.

It was windy and not too hot, so I wandered around looking for interesting things. There wasn’t much. I did see a butterfly, many grasshoppers, and many dragonflies, including one so red that it burned a hole through my eyes and out the back of my head. I also saw this flower:

There were also great piles of grey grass here and there and smaller bits in other places. Where did it come from? Was it an invading army of mutant plants determined to take over the world? I’m going to say yes.

On the way back to the car I saw a tunnel. I later saw a tortoise. That was when it finally all made sense. Tortoises begin their lives as small, burrowing creatures that then grow large on the plentiful grass, grazing wider and wider paths as they grow. Their size is limited by their lifespans, and their lifespans are limited by the amount of grey grass they eat, which is toxic. Eventually, the tortoises die and liquify until becoming the slimy ponds I saw. The fertilized eggs hatch inside the rotting carcasses of their parents and eventually rise from the ponds to begin the cycle again. Young, small tortoises are able to avoid the grey grass and eat only the green, but once they reach a certain size, their mouths are too big to pick around it.

What do you think of my theory?

Please leave a comment!

If you like this blog, be sure to explore my SubStack ChartingPossibilities, where I post thoughts on science, philosophy, and culture, plus excerpts from my many published books, my YouTube channel WayOutDan, where I post weird stories from my life, my science fiction series ChampionOfTheCosmos, and my xenobiology field guide FloraAndFaunaOfTheUniverse. You can support me by buying my books, or tipping me at BuyMeACoffee.

PBJ Cake

This is a very simple dessert to make. First, make two pieces of wheat toast. Cover one with a sturdy helping of peanut butter and the other with a sturdy helping of strawberry jelly. Put them together on a plate to create a sandwich. Then completely cover the entire thing with whipped cream (the good kind). Eat with a fork and knife.
 
Crunchy Xmas Salsa

This salsa is red, green, and white, the colors of Christmas, but you can eat it anytime of year. I’ll let you. However, you will first need to gather a sweet onion, two green bell peppers, two red bell peppers, and 2-5 vine-ripened tomatoes. After cutting into pieces smaller than a fingernail, mix them in a large bowl and add just a bit of salt and vinegar to start bringing out the juices.

Next, cut very small (blend if you have to) two habanero peppers and several cloves of garlic. Gloves are recommended unless you don’t have any nerve endings in your hands. The soft, pale part of the pepper where the seeds attach is full of fire. Add a teaspoon of fresh ground cumin seeds. Then add this mixture to the bowl and stir until evenly spread.

The salsa should be left in the refrigerator for at least 12 hours before taste-testing to allow the juices to mix. Every twelve hours after that, it needs to be mixed and taste-tested again. I find that sometimes it needs a little more salt or vinegar or that the habaneros I bought were from a mild batch. This can be remedied by adding more.

Note: Taste-testing means taking small amounts for tasting; it does not mean to eat up half your salsa before your guests arrive. I had to learn that the hard way.

The salsa is best 2-3 days old. It can be eaten with corn chips, added to burgers, or eaten plain with a big spoon. It should be crunchy and juicy. The juice at the bottom can be sipped afterwards.
 
PB Ramen

Note: I’ve only ever made this with all-natural Teddy-brand peanut butter, so I can’t guarantee results with non-stir brands.

Start boiling Ramen noodles in a pan on the stove. Find a gravy shaker and shake some gravy in it. A screw lid jar will work just as well. Ingredients include a third-cup milk, a teaspoon of flour, two heaping teaspoons of peanut butter, and a heavy splash of soy sauce. If desired, cinnamon, ginger, and red pepper flakes can be added in any combination. If not desired, then I’ll put them in and you can go home.

Basically, after your noodles are soft and before you have run out of water, pour the gravy over. If you have done it right, clumping should not be a problem, but if clumps do begin to form, they can be somewhat reduced by rapidly stirring. Boil off the excess water and serve. It goes great with chicken and nuts.
 
BBQ Ramen

While I have never liked barbecue sauce on any other kind of noodle, it goes very well with Ramen. In a pan on the stove, I boil my noodles with a chicken flavor packet. Just before they run out of water, I turn off the heat and mix in barbecue sauce and cheddar chunks. Depending on my mood, I may also add black pepper or garlic powder.
 
Buffalo Nut Chicken

First, thaw some fully-cooked chicken tenders (the kind with the crispy breading). Next, add them to a large frying pan and cut into bite-sized pieces. Heat with butter until some brown begins to appear. Next, add a handful of mixed nuts and stir for a minute on high. Then immediately transfer food to plate and drizzle Buffalo sauce over it. Enjoy or die trying.
 
Buffalo Coleslaw Crackers

Sometimes one just wants some nachos, but they don’t have any tortilla chips, salsa, or grated cheese. That’s okay!

On a large plate, spread saltine crackers and cover with coleslaw (cabbage, carrots, vinegar, mayo). Place cheddar slices on top. Microwave until cheese melts. Then drizzle Buffalo sauce over the top. You now have nachos (if you squint).
 
Hot Pickle Chicken Sub

What goes better with chicken than hot pickles? I can’t think of anything. To make this sub, fry shredded chicken and mix with as much black pepper as you can stand. After it is fully cooked, chop up dill pickle spears, mix them in, and immediately melt provolone cheese slices over it. Using your spatulas, shovel the whole thing into a submarine roll and eat. It is best served with French fries and ice-cold Mountain Dew. Salt can be added to taste (please don’t put it in the soda).

I visited Paynes Creek Historic Park in Bowling Green, Florida to see what was there. Little did I know that it would be the last park I would visit for over 100 years.

First, I walked along Paynes Creek all the way to Peace River. There wasn’t much to see but a few birds and some fungi. However, I did come across this ancient, crumbling, time portal generator. It was inoperative. I wondered who had put it there.

Then, I turned around and walked the historic trail to the bridge. I saw a rabbit and an ibis. From the top of the bridge, I could see numerous fish over one side and some long weeds over the other. I then walked through the treetops until I reached the other side of the creek.

A bit further down, at the edge of a cattle pasture, was the monument. It was dedicated to George Payne, who was killed by the Seminole in 1849.

I took a picture, but somehow this action triggered some sort of mechanism within to generate a temporal well. I was pulled into the past – to the very evening mentioned – along with everyone else in history up to that point who had taken a photo. Suddenly, we were attacked. It was a massacre!

I was the only one to escape the Seminole, which I did by donning my invisibility mesh I had brought with me. It was several months before I had acclimated myself to old Florida. It was then that I returned to the area with supplies enough to build a time portal generator. I was never able to get it to work. The materials needed simply didn’t exist in 1849.

I finally accepted that I was only to return to the future the long way round. I lived out my days mostly in Florida, but also travelled to New York and California. I even visited Europe and mentored young Max Plank and young Albert Einstein. I marched with MLK. I made a fortune on Microsoft stock.

Eventually, I noticed that no one had yet built the monument that had so drastically changed my life. Not wanting to create a paradox that could unravel all of history, I decided that I had better build it. Then I waited.

On the day I drove to the park, I followed far behind my younger self on my motorcycle. I parked outside the park so I would not be recognized and cut through the woods to lie in wait near the monument. I waited. At last, I saw myself arrive. He walked around the monument, took a picture, and disappeared!

Picking up where he left off, I decided to continue exploring the park. Why not? I might have been responsible for the portal and the monument, but there was supposed to be a fort here. It was the reason for the park. I hadn’t built a fort. Who had? And where was it?

I continued to explore. I saw flowers. I saw plants. I saw a tree that turned red when injured. I saw lubber grasshopper babies.

I don’t know what this is. Some sort of nest? I knocked, but no one answered.

I pushed deeper and deeper into the woods and away from civilization. Few ever went this far. That was when I saw the blue.

Someone or something was reforming the biosphere to suit them. Was it aliens? Was this the reason for the fort? An excuse for having the park? Did they build the park to keep away the prying eyes of developers while they remade the forest to resemble those of their home planet?

In addition to its mutagenic properties, this bluish substance was highly caustic. It even melted right through this log!

I continued to walk in circles, looking for the culprits. At last, I found them! The stenchcrust blubberbogs of Morbidum-5!

I chased them, but they got away. One gurgled something about returning to the fort. I had to find that fort! After searching the entire park, I came to an empty clearing. There was nothing but sand. Nearby was a plaque explaining that archeologists in 1982 had discovered remains of a wooden structure, but that it was gone now.

Yeah right! There was never any fort here! Obviously, it was just a cover story for the aliens’ spacecraft, which was by then light years away, their plans at world building failed.

I visited the history center for more information. Who were these Seminole? I learned that they were wild people that appropriated the cultural dress styles of Scotsmen who were eventually “cancelled” in the third Seminole war. History repeats.

Please leave a comment!

If you like this blog, be sure to explore my SubStack ChartingPossibilities, where I post thoughts on science, philosophy, and culture, plus excerpts from my many published books, my YouTube channel WayOutDan, where I post weird stories from my life, my science fiction series ChampionOfTheCosmos, and my xenobiology field guide FloraAndFaunaOfTheUniverse. You can support me by buying my books, or tipping me at BuyMeACoffee.