This is a poem I wrote in 2020. I imagine it roughly to the tune of Crazy by Gnarls Barkley.

I wake up in the morning and it's still dark outside - yeah it's dark
But I know I've got to go to work
I climb out of bed, when I stand up my back creaks - so loud
The dog is already running around my feet
I get lost on my way to the bathroom in my own house - oh yeah
So tired I could pass out standing up
The clock is spinning ever faster but all I do is stare - at it, yeah
I can't remember what I'm supposed to do next
 
I need some coffee
I need some coffee
I need some coffee inside of me
 
I feed the dog, the cat, the iguana, hold it, I don't have a cat - no cat
Oh hell, I'll figure it out this afternoon
I put on my socks, my shoes, my coat, my purse and hat - oh yeah
I gotta go back inside to put on my shirt and pants
The keys won't open the car, oh, these are the house keys - house keys
Oh, I'm not sure this is my car
I make it safely to the drive-through, I only hit the curb twice - only twice
The employees ask me what I need
 
I need some coffee
I need some coffee
I need some coffee inside of me
 
The nice employees they help me, they tell me, they say
Sorry ma-am, this is an oil-change bay
You want the place next door
Oh dear
 
I need some coffee
I need some coffee
I need some coffee inside of me

This is a poem I wrote in 2020. I imagine it to the tune of Yuve Yuve Yu by The Hu.

Well you're a monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey livin' in a zoo

Well you're a monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey yes it's true

Well a monkey sees me drinking and what a monkey sees a monkey's gonna do

Well a monkey's gonna find a way to get out, gonna find a way to get himself a brew - find himself a brew
 
Hey monkey, what's up?

You better put down that cup


 
Well you're a monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey screamin' night and day

Well you're a monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey always wants to play

Well you've been a drinkin', stealin', wreckin', climbin', fightin' that's all I'm gonna say

Well I think it's well past your welcome now; I'd wish you'd go away - wish you'd go away
 

Hey monkey, shut up!

Give me back my cup!
 


Hey monkey, shut up!

Better clean this mess right up!

​This is a poem I wrote in 2019. I imagine it to the tune of If I Had A Million Dollars by Bare Naked Ladies.

You know I love you and I’d do anything for you and I’d buy you anything and I’d give you everything I have. In fact, I wrote a song about it and I’ll sing it to you right now.

If I went to market (If you went to market)
I would buy you a fat pig (But not a real fat pig; that’s gross)
And if I came home again (And if you came home again)
I’d go jiggity-jig jiggity-jig (Jiggity-jiggity-jig)
And this little piggy went to market (And this little piggy stayed home)
And this little piggy had roast beef (And this little piggy had none)
And this little piggy cried wee-wee-wee-wee-wee (All the way home)

(I thought this was a song about all the stuff you were going to buy me.)
It was, but I forgot. I’ll do better next verse.

If I was named Jack Horner (You’d be teased in high school)
Then I’d eat a Christmas pie (But not a whole pie at once; that’s gross)
And if I found in it a plum (A fat, juicy plum for me?)
I’d say what a good boy am I (What a meanie!)
I once heard a cat play a fiddle (You said you saw a cow jump over the moon)
I once heard a dog laugh (You said you saw a dish run away with a spoon)
I think I finally understand it all now (You’re insane)

(What was in that Christmas pie anyways? Mushrooms?)
No, I think it was just plums and magic reindeer meat.
(That explains it.)

​If I was named Peter Piper (You’d still be teased in high school)
I’d pick a peck of pickled peppers – for you (You know I’ve always liked pickled peppers!)
And if I was named Peter Piper (Your initials would be pee-pee)
A peck of pickled peppers is what I’d pick (A peck of pickled peppers is what you’d pick – for me)
And if I was an old woman (Then I’d guess you’d live in a shoe)
And if I slept under a haystack (Then I guess you’d be little boy blue)
And if I sang this song to you on our wedding night (You’d be weird)

I met
A girl last month
She’s pretty, smart, talented,
And we want the same out of life
We grew
Up in the same church
Have the same taste in movies
And boy does she know how to flirt
I think
She has nobody else
We’re both getting older
And this is such an empty house
She laughs
At most of my jokes
We have fun together
So why do I feel about to choke?

Why do I feel sick inside?
With a pain that I can barely hide?
After all these years, you’re still in my heart
And who’s left for you if I were to start…again?

I haven’t
Yet told her my past
She hasn’t told me much either
But I know she’s allergic to cats
Somehow
I haven’t yet scared her away
She returns my messages
And she calls every other day
I feel
Like we’re all running out of time
I’ve been so lonely
In ways I can hardly describe
It’s nice
To have someone to care about
There is just this one thing
So hard to figure out

Why do I feel sick inside?
With a pain that I can barely hide?
After all these years, you’re still in my heart
And what’s left for you if I were to start…again?

They say to never lose hope
Or give up your faith
But how is it fair
To make her wait?

We're running out of time
We're running out of time
We're running out of time
We're running out of time

Why do I feel sick inside?
With a pain that I can barely hide?
Is she worth the work to tear out my heart?
And how can we ever be if I were to start…again?

Sometimes I stay up at night
Thoughts in my head they play and fight
And I wonder how it is I know
That I'm sure I love you so
What if it turns out I've lied?
What if this feeling dies?
And when I can't decide
I hold my fears deep inside

So many days have passed, so long
So many risks, can I take them on?
Shall I hang around when you want me gone?
Abandon you in the middle of my song?

So much hurt of so many kinds
And no solutions around for me find
Where can I turn, no one to help
You know I want no one else

Whatever now can I do?
To be sure my love is true?
It seems there's always more to learn
Another layer down below that churns
Until then I'll do what I can
I'll always be your loyal man
And so I choose to love you so
And this is how I know

​This is a poem I wrote in 2015. I imagine all of my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This poem I imagine set to the tune of Deirdre by The Beach Boys.

​That girl over there
The one with long hair
No one ever told her she’s pretty
Soon I’ll say hi
Call her apple of my eye
I’m going to tell her she’s pretty
One day, some sunny day I’m gonna make her mine
And then I’ll get to look at her all the time
Don’t anybody tell me she’s not pretty

She doesn’t know
How she dazzles me so
She still has no idea that she’s pretty
I’ll bring a mirror
Explain I admire her
She should understand that she’s pretty
Sometimes she acts like she’s deaf and blind
Sometimes I really think she’s lost her mind
That she can’t see that she’s pretty

So so so so so so pretty

I must have took too long
Preparing for her this song
That guy there just told her she’s pretty
Now she’s happy
But what about me?
No one else is so pretty
Now that she’s been swept away
I hardly see her anymore anyway
I still haven’t told her she’s pretty

So so so so so so pretty

There was still so much more to say
And I still think about her every day
I still haven’t told her she’s pretty

​This is a poem I wrote in 2015. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to create my own tunes. This poem I imagine set to the tune of Wonderful World by Sam Cooke.

​I ain't got any friends
I ain't got money to spend
Don't have a bank account
Don't have life figured out
But I've got a car that goes
And a song on the radio
And I'm happy for no reason at all

I ain't got any bed
Got no place tonight to lay my head
Got nothing on which to gnaw
Except a box of raw pasta
But hey I've got fancy clouds above
And a radio station I love
And I'm happy for no reason at all

Some say I drive too fast!
Some say I play my music too loud!
But I say that all those people!
Are just tryin' to get me down!

Now I've got a rash on my face
And my shoes are as porous as lace
And my mother just called again
To remind me of my every sin
But I've got a highway to drive
And it feels good to be alive
And I'm happy for no reason at all

But now the cops are on my tail
And I think I'm headed off to jail
And I'm happy for no reason at all

​This is a poem I wrote in 2015. I imagine all of my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine set to the tune of Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones.

​You tire of waiting
For him to text first
You keep on chasing
Even when it hurts
They all believe you
When you say that you're fine
But what is this longing
I see in your eyes?

If you keep chasing
Well, I'll guess I'll run with you
Please stop running
And let me catch you

You wanted someone
To think about you
To make you happy
And to not make you blue
It's not everything
You thought it'd be
They've all got someone
Except you and me

If you keep chasing
Well, I guess I'll run with you
Please stop running
And let me catch you

They said they loved you
But they showed the truth
You were nothing
But a convenient tool
You do the best
With the cards that you're dealt
You say you're happy
While your eyes scream for help

If you keep chasing
Well, I guess I'll run with you
Please stop running
And let me catch you

​This is a poem I wrote in 2014. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to come up with tunes of my own. This is one time that I succeeded. It has a Billy-Joel-style sound to it.

​She is fire
She is flame
She's dancing light and color
And impossible to tame
She is all-consuming
Brilliant and pure
Her energy my ecstacy
My luminescent lure
She is dazzling light
Bringing her life to the night
Leaping, licking, snapping
A most mesmerizing sight
Hidden danger exists
Under her healing warmth
Her wholesome heat I crave
And the most amazing show on Earth

She is fire
She is flame
Forever changing
Always not the same
My entrancing inferno
Blazing in the dark
My beauty, my cutie
My little jumping spark
Unpredictable vengeance
Unpredictable grace
I know that it's pointless
Trying to keep her in her place
Some say I'm crazy
Some say I'm a case
Because I love a woman
With golden hair and rosy face

She is fire
She is flame
We keep each other going
When comes the rain
I blow her kisses
When she gets down
Stirring up her world
So she can rise off the ground
She is beautiful
Of this I've no doubt
I cherish her ever smile
Every laugh and every pout
My lover, my lady
My firecracker girl
I'm gonna take you
To illuminate the world

She is fire
She is flame
I stare at her for hours
Until she calls my name
I fuel her with cards and flowers
So her smoke can reach the skies
Though she often brings me tears
I don't dare close my eyes
Her scent lingers on
My clothes for days on end
She burns in my memory
And will always burn again
Her glowing embers
Bring me wonder and delight
And I will stay till sunrise
And tend her through the night

You're beautiful
Of this I've no doubt
Burn me if you must
But don't ever ever go out

​This is a poem I wrote in 2014. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine set to the tune of Every Breath You Take by The Police.

​You sent me away
Said we couldn't play
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

You took away all I had
And you hurt me so bad
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

One day you'll see
That you want me
As always, best of luck to you
In everything you do

You won't listen at all
You don't return my calls
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

You play mind games
And spread lies in my name
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

I don't want to make you feel bad
The last thing I ever want is to make you sad
It hurts me even to mention it
Just agree and I won't say it again
Forgive yourself as I've forgiven you
There's nothing more you ever need to do
I've already forgotten all about your sin
I've done it before and I'll always do it again

My aid you spurn
And to your idols you turn
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

My temple you've defiled
Your injustices you pile
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

You kill my friends
And the prophets I send
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

You took things too far
Now I wear your scars
You can't get rid of me
Not that easily
I'm already there

​This is a poem I wrote in 2013. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine to the tune of I’m On Fire by Bruce Springsteen.

​Come on little girl
Just take my hand
I'll make you a woman
And I'll be your man
The honor's mine
Oh, I'm on the line

I'll show you things
In a brand-new light
I'll take you places
Make you high as a kite
The honor's mine
Oh, I'm on the line

I know you think
You're second best
But I know different
From the beating in my chest
Come on girl
Don't take your time
Oh, I'm on the line

Sometimes I feel
I'm stretched too thin
As the days run on
And on without end
I'm stretched so fine
Oh, I'm on the line

The honor's mine
Oh, I'm on the line

This is a poem I wrote in 2013. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine set to the tune of Sweet Loraine by Fred Stobaugh.

Oh dear Deirdre
Where did you go? What happened to ya?
Oh dear Deirdre
Are you happy now? What have you done?
Oh dear Deirdre
Do you ever think of me, now that I'm gone?
Oh dear Deirdre
Do you think you know why we had to stop the fun?
Oh dear Deirdre
There are so many things I want to tell ya.

I thank you for the good times. I thank you for being you.
I really do wish you well. I wish you luck in all you do.
We never said goodbye. Well, I guess there's no point to say it now.

Oh dear Deirdre
I thought I had more to learn. I want to know your favorite flava.
Oh dear Deirdre
If our paths ever cross, what will you say? Will you speak at all?
Oh dear Deirdre
There are so many more things I want to tell ya.

I hope you've no regrets. You only did what you had to do.
It was never part of the plan for there to be a me and you.
We never said goodbye. Well, I guess there's no point to say it now.

Oh dear Deirdre
I'll say a prayer, a prayer for ya.
Oh dear Deirdre
When we meet in heaven, what will you say? Will you speak at all?
Oh dear Deirdre
There are still so many more things I want to tell ya.

​This is a poem I wrote in 2013. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. I am still trying to come up with something decent for this one.

I was going to write a song
It was going to be long

I gave up

How do fluids flow?
How does grass grow?
What makes water freeze?
What makes dogs sneeze?
How does blood clot?
How does food rot?
How do eyes see?
How do we disagree?
Who invented steak?
Who invented taste?
How do bees fly?
How big is the sky?
When was the dawn of time?
Who can name all primes?
Who knows when you lie?
Knows the digits of pi?
How many atoms in your purse?
How many in the universe?
How far to the farthest star?
What really is a quasar?
How many galaxies?
What makes gravity?
What is quantum topology?
What is space-time geometry?

I was going to write a song
It was going to be long
Words are just inadequate
So I gave up on it

I've barely scratched the surface yet

Who let it all go?
Became an embryo?
Came down to Earth?
Lived through a birth?
Covered by goo?
Crying for food?
Bound by space and time?
To ancient Palestine?
No roads paved?
No microwaves?
Limited in sight?
To wavelengths of light?
Surrounded by greed?
Lust, hate, and need?
Misunderstood so?
By both friend and foe?
Striped for you and me?
For his enemies?
Died willingly?
So sinners could be free?
Nailed to a tree?
So they could live in peace?
For all eternity?
Could a greater love be?

Inexpressable
Indescribable
Undeniable

And even this falls too short
I'm just going to stop talking

​This is a poem I wrote in 2013. I imagine all of my poetry set to music, though I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine to the tune of She’s So Cold by The Rolling Stones.

​Caramel apples
Caramel apples
You're a caramel apple girl

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Sweet and tangy
Wholesome crunch
There's nothing else I want in the world

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Young and sweet
Good to eat
Let me have some apples please

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
You're a caramel apple girl

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Putting two and
Two together
There's nothing better in all the world

You can't get enough
I can't get enough
You're my only caramel apple girl

Give me your apples
Give me your apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
You're a caramel apple girl

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Sweet and tangy
Wholesome crunch
There's nothing else I want in the world

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

Young and sweet
Good to eat
Let me have some apples please

I can't get enough
You can't get enough
I'll get you some more apples, girl

Maybe we can share
Our sweet sweet snack
Take the caramel - make it swirl!

I like your taste
And I like your plate
Tastes like nothing else in the world

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple, girl!!!

Caramel apples
Caramel apples
I want a caramel apple girl

​This is a poem I wrote in 2013. I imagine all of my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. The chorus I imagine set to the tune of To Be With You by Mr. Big.

​Livin' on lies and broken dreams
Bad mistakes, insults, and blame
Is it you, or is it them?
Either way, you're not the same

No one understands you
Nothing left but doubt and pain
Is it them, or is it you?
Either way, you're not the same

I miss you
I miss you when you're gone
And I miss you when you're not you

I'm not trying to feed you a line
I'm not even asking you to be mine
Any guy would be lucky to have you and so,
I just wanted to let you know

Please just be yourself
Please do it as a favor to me
'Cause I know what I like
And there are worse things you could be

I might not be right for you
Truth is, I'm not sure you're right for me
But I know what I like
And there are worse things you could be

I miss you
I miss you when you're gone
And I miss you when you're not you

I'm not trying to feed you a line
I'm not even asking you to be mine
Any guy would be lucky to have you and so,
I just wanted to let you know

​This is a poem I literally dreamed up in 2012. I imagine all of my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This time I might have succeeded. I can’t remember hearing it before though it sounds familiar. It has a Beatles-ish style to it.

​Why am I scared?
Why am I sad?
Why do I feel 'bout to fall?
It's a dre-eam
I'm only asleep after all

Why do I hear laughing?
How did I get lost?
How long has that face been on the wall?
It's a dre-eam
It's just a dream after all

I hear the words on the TV
I read the newspaper
I see people follow the crowds

They promise more of the same
They promise more of the game
I watch them wrestle themselves

Why am I singing?
And why do I care?
And why am I making this call?

I'm hearing a lot of porcine acid out there today
(cheers)
Well, I've got as much porcine acid as anybody
(cheers)
All I'm saying is even someone with a food disorder could've bought that lake, yet it has one of the most hotly contested senate races in the Netherlands.
Let me explain. The world is a round pizza, and we're in one corner right now, but later we'll be in the middle. And then, they'll have to hear us!
(cheers)
I'm for slushies and you can to!
(chanting: slushies! slushies! slushies! slushies!)

One thing about dreams, is they don't make sense
And when you wake up, they're gone

When things are strange, then you know
It's time to go back to bed

It's a dre-eam
I'm only asleep after all

This is a poem I wrote in 2012. When I used to work at McDonald’s, the maintenance guy once spoke (rather than sang) some of the lyrics to Goddamn Devil by Ugly Kid Joe and told me we should make a song for them. Not knowing that the song already existed, I wrote up a new song with different structure and the verses set to the tune of Back In Black by AC/DC. I’m rarely able to come up with my own tunes.

​I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free
I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free

I don't get dental
I don't get vaca
No company car
Or 401k
There're benefits I'm told
If you do as you should
But I gotta tell ya
It ain't no fun bein' good

I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free
I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free

I looove my job
The art of sin
With pride on my side
I know I'll always win
I abuse the saints
I collect my souls
I play my fiddle
And I play rock 'n' roll

I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free
I'm the God-Damn devil
This job pleases me
I'm The God-Damn Devil
And I do it for free

(repeat chorus twenty times or so)

This is a poem I wrote in 2012. I imagine all of my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This one I imagine set to the tune of Learning To Fly by Pink Floyd.

​Digging through relics
Day after day
How did they work?
How did they play?
Broken fossils
Are all that's left
Was the way they lived
The cause of their death?
Their names long lost
Their dreams never done
Nobody knows them
No, not one
Was she a peasant?
Was he a scribe?
Question is, did anyone
Know them even when they were alive?

If I was gone
Would you miss my support; how I always tried to help?
If I was gone
Would you miss my insights; how I always saw through tricks?
If I was gone
Would you miss my jokes; how I always tried to entertain you?
If I was gone
Would you miss my attention; how I embraced your quirks?
If I was gone

If I was gone
Would you ever wonder what went wrong?
Would you think I was insane?
Would you find someone to blame?
If I was gone

Friend of harlots
Frauds and thieves
A wino, a glutton
Was this your creed?
Enemy of the law
Enemy of good
Casting out demons by witchcraft
Or misunderstood?
Want us to rape you
What does that mean?
Did you marry for love?
Why do you smell like a teen?
Wise men say
You were the king
Do any remember
The way your hips used to swing?

If I was gone
Would you remember the foods I liked?
If I was gone
Would you remember the books I read?
If I was gone
Would you remember my favorite dinosaur?
If I was gone
Would my catchphrase finally catch on?
If I was gone

If I was gone
Would you ever wonder what went wrong?
Would you think I was insane?
Would you find someone to blame?
If I was gone

Would you ever wonder what went wrong?

Would anyone find this song?

Would anyone even notice?

If I was gone
Who would wonder why?
If I was gone
Would they look for clues?
If I was gone
Would they find my blog?
If I was gone
Would they find this song?
If I was gone
Would they buy my books?
If I was gone
Would they buy my shirts?
If I was gone
Would they search my notes?
If I was gone
Would they understand?
If I was gone
Would they find my lists of things with no description? Can they read my shorthand?
If I was gone
Would they understand?
If I was gone
Would they make theories?
If I was gone
Would they make interpretations?
If I was gone
Would they ever get it right?
If I was gone
Would they ever know?
If I was gone
Would they cut th...(uncomfortably abrupt ending)

​This is a poem I wrote in 2010. I imagine all of my poetry to music though I am rarely able to come up with my own tunes. This poem I imagine set to the tune of Dancing In The Dark by Bruce Springsteen.

​Always busy with your studies
Always busy with your plans
To make lots of money
You never had time for a man
You're always so driven
You're life's so full of haste
To learn the world of finance
How long can you keep up the pace?
I thought I'd give you...
I thought I'd give you that chance
For fun and recreation
And maybe just maybe romance
Now you're still alone
Baby, I'm lonely too
Here's just an idea
Maybe I could spend time with you

You can make me think
That's such a rare find
To find a woman
Who has more than half a mind
You've got a nice figure
I like your smile, I like your face
I like the way you stand up
And you put me in my place
We could take over...
Take over the whole God-Damn World
I'd do the politics
And you'd be my economics girl
Now you're going nowhere
Soon you'll have to go home and leave the states
I'm not asking for commitment
I'm just asking for one date

We could just try it...
Try it out and see what unfolds
What better option
But to leave each other in the cold?
I know its hard
When you've got so much on your plate
I'm not asking for commitment
I'm just asking for one date

I'm just asking for one date

I'm just asking for one date

just asking for one date

asking for one date

Mmm-mm mm mm mmm