Thanksgiving Picnic

This is a poem I wrote in 2010. I imagine all my poetry set to music but I am rarely able to come up with tunes of my own. This one I imagine set to the tune of Know Your Enemy by Green Day. I was going through some things then and rather than help, people at church just kept telling me to give thanks even when I didn’t mean it.

Note: Due to our hypersensitive and intellectually stunted society, I feel compelled to point out that where the poem thanks God that I'm not a Jew or a woman, this in no way reflects my actual feelings; it is a direct reference to the Pharisee mentioned in the gospels who thanked God he wasn't a gentile or a woman. It's silly on purpose.
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​Thank you God for our home and our family and that no one's sick and for my new bike and for dogs and cats and horses and butterflies and for Jesus...oh, and for chocolate too. Amen.

i thank God for freedom
and for good times
rejoice in the lord always
this is the day he has made

i thank god for sunlight
and this gorgeous weather
i thank god for this picnic
and all this delicious food

i thank god for skateboards
and for iphones
i thank god for cookies
and vanilla ice cream

i thank god for cartoons
and for pencils
and i thank god i passed
my test yesterday

i thank god for liberty
another word for freedom
which i thanked him for already
earlier in this song

i thank god for verbs
and for consonants
and for syllables
and for sentences

i thank god grampa got his scooter
to get around with
even though he wouldn't need it
if he was young instead

i thank god i'm young enough
to outrun grampa
though it wouldn't matter
if instead i left my sister alone

i thank god for oxygen
so we can breathe it
although if there was no oxygen
we'd never ever know it

i thank god for anaerobic microbes
that don't use oxygen
i thank god i'm not anaerobic
though i have no idea why

i thank god for aliens
that don't use oxygen
assuming god created aliens
instead of leaving the skies for us

i thank god for the friends
that i know i'll have someday
and for the friends i used to have
though they left me all today

i thank god for my new bike
even though i can't ride it
because i was just paralyzed
in a car crash yesterday

i thank god i'm paralyzed
and that i'm going blind
i thank god for sympathy berry pies
though my mouth is wired shut

i thank god for a hill to sled on
even though there's no snow
and my sled is missing
and gramma says the hill blocks her view

i thank god i'm not always thankful
like when i'm depressed
and can't enjoy anything
or else have nothing to enjoy

i thank god for sunlight again
even though it gave me sunburn
yes, i thank god for sunburn
and i thank god for my frostbite

i thank god for beer
yee-hay-yeah!!!!
even though it was the beer
that made me crash my car

i thank god for this song
that i wrote myself
and i thank god for this shed i built
by the sweat of my brow

i thank god i wasn't born a jew
or a woman
thank god i'm not like the Pharisees
or those no good Sadduceees

i thank god for fractals
and for mathematics
i thank god one and one is two
and that i can't divide by zero

i thank god for god
and that there's not no god
and i thank god for the universe
and the passage of time

i thank god for everything
you know he made everything
i thank him for everything
and that i'm thanking him now

I thank him for evil
and for satan
i thank god for sin
and i thank him for doubt

i thank god for everything
you know he made everything
i thank him for everything
and that i'm thanking him now

i thank god for everything
you know he made everything
i thank him for everything
and that i'm thanking him now